Getting creative for the Halloween season 🎃
Halloween 2024. Nancy Martinez Presents the Scarecrow VIBES!
When you have children, sometimes you put the little darlings before yourself. I wondered last year, how can I make a costume, or at least attempt to come up with something for myself. I was fresh out of ideas. We are horror buffs and so naturally, we LOVE Halloween. Last year, money was tight and I had to get creative. I got the little ones their costumes, exactly what they wanted: Donnie Darko Bunny and FNF Foxy, but I couldn't for the life of me find any inspo for myself. My kiddo's dad decided that he was going to be a scarecrow, and I thought.. hmm... I think I'm going to play copy cat-- and thanks to Pinterest I found the illest makeup ideas! I figured I'd take a little bit from each idea I saw, and well! I ran to party city and I got to work! Realizing I didn’t need a costume afterall! All I needed was a little Halloween spirit and some creativity! ✨🎃 Now your turn mama! get creative! Find some inspo this week. Find a color palette, shape, or texture from your child's favorite toy, movie, or clothing item. Create a piece of grown-up art (or décor, or food) that uses only those colors.(e.g., The bright orange and blue of a Bluey toy, the blocky shapes of Minecraft, the muted pastels of a Disney Princess dress).#MomRemix
Sip slow, catch the Creative Flow
Happy National Coffee Day!
Have you ever been on your way to work hustling and gulping your coffee like some frantic maniac, frantically gulping, and that forgotten cold cup, full of coffee and no ice, and now the flavors are gone and you’re stuck with the cold cup forgotten on the counter thinking… should I get a new cup of coffee or what? I’ve been there! My relationship with coffee is different now. It’s not about the energy, it’s about the pause. Having a cup of coffee is more than just the coffee itself... but it's being able to take those long slow sips that become soothing to the soul as I feed my creative mind. The coffee is a special addition to a moment that allows the true self to plug in and access creativity before the chaos of motherhood takes over. No matter the time, though, It's the moment my scattered energy collects itself. It's the intentional act of shifting my focus from "doer" (mother, employee) to "self" (thinker, creator) The quiet, warm moment is when I mentally dedicate a tiny bit of space to yourself. This is the act of filling my cup so I actually have something left to give to my craft (writing, art, or even just creative problem-solving). This is the space where I allow my whimsical and true self to emerge before I have to face the realities of the world. True creative wellness is found in small, deliberate acts—like a cup of coffee. For me, the magic isn't in the caffeine; it's in the intentional slowness of the sip. Whether it's an iced drink, where the ice cubes provide just the right chill before the delicious, smooth coffee enters my mouth, or a hot cup cradled in my favorite mug, the experience is the same: The coffee runs down my throat slow and easy. It’s the physical act of slowing down, allowing my thoughts to brew just as easily and carefully as the coffee beans must have on the pot.
Tell me in the comments: What is your most non-negotiable, soul-soothing practice that helps you plug into your true self?! Additionally, what’s YOUR favorite drink to create the V.I.B.E.S.?
Whimsy: Joyful Rebellion, an act of self love
I've always been quite whimsical. I had an odd way about me... as far as thinking goes, I embraced my whimsical ways early on. However, after becoming a mother, I became a version of me I didn’t recognize– and not in that “ change is good” sort of way. It was as if I was engulfed and consumed by what others were expecting of me now that I was a mother. I even felt less desirable, feeling the need to cover up, limit my thoughts on things, and it became just a bit isolating. I used to wear cut up shirts, mid-drifts, crop tops. As a dancer, I was so confident and artistic. And I walked around as such. But when I became a mother for the first time– and even though I was quite young, family, elders and strangers gave unsolicited advice to me when they saw me walking down the street with Jade in tow. I felt, okay maybe they are right, I shouldn't be so wild and free, my hair ought to be polished and straight, I felt I had to present in a certain way to conform to what was an ideal look for a mother: covered up, presenting prim and proper as a representation of this child's mother. Worst of all, I allowed them to make me feel this way, it wasn’t that it was something that was actually true for me. And so, I walked around years of uncertainty after I had Jade. Years 1-5, felt that I had lost just a bit of myself and my personality to conform to what I was allowing others to let me believe a mother should be.
What parts of yourself did you have to tuck away when you became a mother? What parts have you tucked away in general? Did you stop wearing bright colors? Did you feel like you had to cover up when you dressed, did you start filtering your confidence?
What is the cost of conformity? The slow deterioration of joy, the absence of smiles and laughter, the feeling in the pit of your soul that you’d rather be doing something else, and that there is more to life than being a mother and completing the daily tasks. Remember that you were someone before these children, remembering you ARE a hottie underneath all these conformities, and that yes! You can wear your ripped shirt and that yes I will wear my crop tops and be body positive of this baby belly that hasn't gone away in 15 years! Even Kimora Lee Simmons made a fortune out of this very idea that we can take this stigma of weight gain for mommies and turn it into fashion and acceptance with Baby Phat.
A shift came through for me, when I felt so low, without the color and brightness of my wardrobe, my boring straight hair and the lack of art and creativity around me. Finally, I shed that polished mentality and decided that I was going to be happy again. I began dancing again, writing music, poetry and let go of many people who didn’t serve value in my life. I began living my authentic life, like me, odd Nancy. It was then, I remembered exactly the life I wanted to live, and that this baby here was not the end all be all of things. Realizing that I didn't have to lose myself, in fact, it helped shape the relationship even more, and led me to be an even greater force in parenting and raising Jade. Why I allowed people to make me feel the need to conform, I think, is something that plagues us all at some point in our lives. This need to be seen and accepted by the majority. Your most true, unedited self is not a flaw to be fixed—it's the fuel you need to thrive. Your only job is to be YOU. Not to be Comfortable for Others. I encourage you all to find your whimsy! And by the way, for the non-believers, whimsy isn't childish or irresponsible; it's a deliberate defense mechanism against the exhaustion and misery you observed– joyful rebellion if you will. I know now that I wouldn't really want to be the way that others want me to be.. I like this way better. The acceptance of self is the greatest liberation. The hardest part is figuring out what your 'true self' even sounds like after years of holding in your silent cries. That's why I created a safe space to start. Don’t ever forget your VIBEs, because it’s within you!
What's one small, weirdly wonderful part of your "True Self" you are refusing to shrink today? Share your piece of whimsy in the comments!
I AM Mother... and I Am Smothered: Why Your Creative Cries Are Essential Wellness
What we know as mothers, is that it requires—no it demands— that we be all the things: fierce protector, gentle nurturer, tireless provider. But what happens to the person underneath that powerful armor? I am a single mother of two children ages 15 and 6. Each day I am managing the day to day of their lives, mine and when I arrive at work, as a senior operations manager, I manage staff requests, liaising between departments and programs. Truthfully, I do it well. In fact, most may never truly know the burnout that I go through on somedays. Each day, time is of the essence. On a tight schedule, up by 5am, getting everyone to school by 8am, in to work earlier than I need to be by 8:30 am. The full day(9-5), socializing, inputting data, consulting, analyzing assisting supporting. Then follows, after work, a pick up of the youngest child at 5:30pm and then dinner, bath time, reading, homework (bonding in between which consists of dance parties with the 6 year old, listening to teen issues with the 15 year old, and her ghost/ horror movie- connected to the real world theory— which always send me over with laughter internally, as I keep a straight face, nodding my head in agreement because, oh, she’s serious. By 9pm everyone’s down for the count and I stare into space thinking “oh my.. what to do now. If I sleep now from the exhaustion of the day, I’m going to miss out on me time!” And so, my thoughts begin to brew, that I must choose myself because I have the time for it, and rest, that will come once I lay my head against my pillow. I am a warrior, gentle, tough, times get rough.. but I AM mother. The warrior stance is exhausting! We tell ourselves we must be strong, yet we are also dealing with the things that no one sees... undervalued, in the background, but way up front." This duality creates an anxious pressure that needs release. Are we ready we admit a deep truth? That sometimes, the silent internal cries…they…do…SMOTHER. True self-care for a mother is not just rest; it's giving voice to the truth of the struggle. If we don't release that pressure, the weight of the role will inevitably lead to the feeling of angst, and losing yourself as the beautiful woman you are! I wrote the poem below as an act of unsmothering, for I too, was nearly over the edge. I wrote it not as an artistic pursuit but as a survival mechanism—a way to fight back against the pressure. This poem came out of me one night when the 'silent internal cries' felt like they were winning. Writing it was the first time I allowed those true feelings to have space.
I AM Mother, by me, Nancy Martinez.
I AM mother,
I am fierce, I am sensitive, I AM mother ,
I am a warrior, gentle, tough, times get rough.. but I AM mother.
I am Mother. I am tired, I am through with it, I get through it . .. I run from it… and I run to it..
I AM mother. day to day .. little pay.. struggles staples. I am Mother.
From the things that no one sees… the bratty teens … undervalued, in the background, but way up front
I AM MOTHER
None other
and the silent internal cries…they…do… SMOTHER.
Realize that creative expression is an act of "unsmothering." When you create, you are actively choosing to honor the personal, messy truth that the world tells you to keep silent. It is a necessary act of emotional processing and wellness. And mama, you deserve it, you’ve worked hard and you deserve it. Here’s a call to action if you’ll have it! Get into your V.I.B.E.S. Head over to the products section and check out my Three Creative Prompts for the Overwhelmed Mom. Whether you sit with a glass of wine, a cup of water or coffee, this is for YOU! Until next time, this is your friend, Nancy Martinez.